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Seconds, minutes, hours. I know I should sleep. I know I’ll wake up tired tomorrow. I’m pretty sure my responses tomorrow will become a bit shorter and a bit more harsh. I will not be able to sleep tomorrow night because I’m awake again. Unable to get from the couch to my bed. The place I want to be. I’ll keep staring at my screen, browsing Facebook, the internet. Reading, adding more information to a mountain I can’t process. Worried about a to do list that is daunting.

I’m not sure what to do. It’s what happens to me. I feel amazing, I don’t need sleep. I don’t sleep, I get tired. I get tired, I get cranky. I get cranky, I get slightly depressed. I get depressed, I don’t want to sleep. And stuck! It doesn’t get better until I have a decent break. There should be other ways. And there will be. Tomorrow morning will be for me. A day off, or at least half of it.

I will eat home made bread. I will drink two cups of tea. I will read a real book. I will not worry about work or building schools or children living in slums. I will not worry about what I want to do after Bangladesh, about what my life should look like in a year. I will heat my bucket of water and shower when it’s not 11 degrees. I will take my time to wake up and enjoy my morning. Enjoy my life as it is.

Or maybe, I’ll just go to work.

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